You can’t imagine it, the singer remarks. At that moment preparing for her first album release in nearly a decade, blissfully happy with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the parent to a young child after struggling to conceive for ten years, feeling invincible. Then in spring she was told she had cancer in her breast.
The musician, actual name Jessica Cornish, is renowned for speaking her mind. The album, the provocatively titled album, was intended as an transparent story, dealing with every bit of hardship she’d faced since she last worked on songs (a gynecological condition, miscarriage, broken romances, gaslighting, mental health struggles) with her usual frankness. The lead track, No Secrets, was dropped in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. Her diagnosis. Then follow-up track, Living My Best Life, came out in May and she was speaking publicly about how she was living her best life, while still secretly living with the disease. Subsequently she shared the news, and in July she had a mastectomy.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” look. “I put out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m giving every media appearance, and they’re, like, ‘Any updates?’ and I respond, ‘Well, not much…’” the singer has just had to postpone shows because she’s yet to undergo cosmetic procedures.
We meet at a photography studio in the capital. She is dressed in a beige fake-leather jacket, denim trousers with ornate white designs, beige footwear and big frames. Picture biker chic meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the 70s and I should have a man with facial hair.” A biker reference, I say, recalling the movie. “They used to call me that!” She beams. She is quick, irreverent and direct. She says she has always been interested in humor and is planning to attempt her first comedy performance soon. “I enjoy humor. When performing I frequently joke about the crowd.”
Personal Battles and News
She was preparing for an slot at the ceremony when she found a lump. “I quickly sought to get it checked, had an scan, and they were, like, ‘It looks like nothing; your tissue is healthy.’ And I insisted, ‘Yet I sense it. My arm hurts and pins and needles in my hands whenever I get up.’ And they said, ‘How about a biopsy?’ The date was March 28, the following my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The doctor told her if it was serious she’d reach out on the Monday. By then Cornish had assured herself it was fine. The way she tells it, it was just bad timing to receive a diagnosis when she had so much on.
“Just two weeks before from launching this thing after a long hiatus and an extended break. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I thought, ‘A video call, likely minor.’ So I jump on the Zoom expecting it’s all going to be fine, and she informs me, ‘Please take a seat.’ That sympathetic voice? And she says, ‘Unfortunately but your reports have indicated aggressive cancer.’” What was your reaction? “I answered, ‘Well, that’s not great. What awful timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness
She found the surgery scary and bizarre. “I hate being put under. They lead you. In urgent cases you roll down in a bed, but then I just marched with a medical attire and my bum hanging out. It felt surreal.” But, Cornish says, she’s been lucky. No chemotherapy or radiation, just the procedure. “It’s terrible, but yet Thank fuck I found it early. The surgery happened a few months back and my right breast now resembles a odd shape.” A further beam. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The follow-up procedure is for health and appearance. Her chest, she observes, are now “asymmetrical. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. How rude! I thought, no need to bully me, I’m already having a rough time. So rude! Ironically I said I’d not undergo augmentation because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be perfect. My plans were disrupted.”
Previous Struggles
Cornish is familiar with health problems. She feels her attitude toward illness has been so optimistic because she’s experienced in physical challenges. Many times they occur alongside professional successes, functioning as a wake-up call, or blow, to make her recall not to assume everything is fine. “Honestly, I feel life goes, ‘Enjoying yourself? Take a seat.’ From a young age, it has consistently accompanied achievements for me; a serious or unusual issue has impacted my body.”
She reminisces to her childhood, already starting her career featuring in the stage in Whistle Down the Wind (she was cast at the age of nine). That’s when she was diagnosed with the heart condition a syndrome, which can cause a tachycardia as well as dizziness and palpitations. “I rehearsed between visits on an IV drip, and being readmitted at night.” She fast-forwards several years, and teenage Jess has become part of the female band the group while studying at the Brit School. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a stroke. Then when I was about to put out music in recently I had a collision and my larynx moved up and I lost my voice for a twelve months.”
Wow, I say, hold on, I am overwhelmed. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
